I knew pretty much right away who I wanted for my bridesmaids once me and my boy got engaged back in July, as it was something I’d thought about for a long time when I envisioned my big day. My maid of honour will be my twin sister, Hana; my other bridesmaids will be my older sister Laura, my cousin Megan, my best friend Beth and my fiance’s sister Nicola. Yes, there will be five ladies up there with me when the time comes and I couldn’t be more excited! But it isn’t this easy for everyone, there are so many different things to consider and everyone seems to have an opinion on just about every aspect of a wedding. Here are a few things to consider when you’re making the big decision.
- Your first choice should be your sisters
Unless you have had a huge falling out with your sister and you haven’t spoken to her in years, then your first choice should be your female siblings. This went without saying when it came to my sisters, as I adore them both dearly and could never imagine my wedding without them next to me.
- Consider your future husband’s sister
Your about to become family, so what better way to get to know your future sister-in-law better than for her to be a big part of the celebration. It’ll also be a great way for her to be involved in all other wedding-related events, from dress shopping and the bachelorette celebrations, to the bridal shower and getting ready on the big day. This is also the case for your brother’s long-term partner or wife.
- Your closest friends
This might be tricky if you have a large group of very close friends and you feel like you have to ask them all to be a bridesmaid, but usually your friends will understand if you have to just pick out one or two to be a part of your bridal party. And, of course, this doesn’t mean that any other of your special ladies won’t be involved at all.
- Other family members
It’s also great if you can get other family members involved, as it brings extended family into the celebrations, where they might normally feel excluded. I know I’m going to love having my cousin as one of my bridesmaids, as we’ve grown up together and we share so many lovely memories, that it would’ve been a shame for her not to be included in all of the festivities. But don’t feel obliged if you’re not close with any extended family.
- Consider people’s circumstances
Being a bridesmaid is a big responsibility, so maybe it’s worth reconsidering if one of your potential maid’s is due to give birth the week before your event, or if she lives on the other side of the country and realistically couldn’t be involved as much as you’d both like her to be. It’s difficult to consider the bigger picture when you’re planning your big day, but it helps to take a step back and see it from someone else’s perspective when you’re asking someone to make such a big commitment to you.
- Don’t feel obligated
It’s easy to feel obliged into asking someone to be your maid if you were one of their bridal party, or your parents really want you to ask a distant cousin. But you shouldn’t feel pressured into including someone unless you are 100% sure that you simply couldn’t imagine your special day without that person standing by your side. Certainly don’t ask an extra maid just to make your numbers even or if your brother starts dating someone just after you get engaged.
- Including those who aren’t included
Even if you’re only having a couple of bridesmaids, there’s no reason that the other special ladies in your life can’t be involved with your big day. Give each girl a special task which plays an imporant part in the overall success of the day and make sure you let her know how much you appreciate her help. Also make sure she’s included in the hen celebrations.